Postal staff stopped a resident from inserting a folding ladder into a delivery-tube station yesterday. The resident argued that the ladder was folded and therefore “small.” It was not small. It was narrow. These are different qualities. The tube opening is designed for message capsules. The ladder was designed for climbing.
After several minutes of discussion, both parties agreed not to combine these purposes. The resident maintained that a folded ladder was technically compact, which the clerk admitted was true in the same way that a sleeping giraffe is technically lower. The analogy ended the discussion more effectively than the official sign had.
The Postal Service has updated the sign beside the tube. It now reads: “MESSAGES ONLY. NO PARCELS. NO TOOLS. NO LADDERS.” A passer-by asked whether a very small ladder would be acceptable. The clerk closed the service window. The ladder was transported by cart. Nothing exploded. This is considered a successful outcome.
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