CITY NEWS
Canal Gate Opens Slowly; Three Ducks Pass Before Boat Does
A routine cargo boat crossing became a patient lesson in who actually controls canal traffic.
CITY DESK
CITY NEWS
Latest reports, incidents and everyday peculiarities from across the City of Ventorn.
CITY NEWS
Postal Bird No. 7 Accepts New Route, Rejects New Route Card
No. 7 completed the morning delivery but objected strongly to the paperwork describing it.
CITY NEWS
Library Introduces Quiet Bell; Bell Immediately Considered Too Interesting
The Ventorn Reading Room has installed a tiny desk bell for assistance and discovered that readers enjoy pressing bells.
CITY NEWS
Autumn Lamp Inspection Finds One Streetlight Facing a Wall
A routine lamp survey has identified a perfectly functional light illuminating approximately four square metres of brick.
CITY NEWS
Travelling Teaspoon Seen on Window Ledge; Ownership Still Unresolved
The city’s least cooperative piece of cutlery has apparently reached Lantern Court.
CITY NEWS
October Maintenance Begins; First Report Is a Door That Sighs
City Engineering opened its October maintenance register with a complaint about a door that sounds disappointed.
CITY NEWS
City Engineering Declares September “Mostly Operational”
After a month of pipes, birds, bells, benches, barrels and one travelling teaspoon, city officials have issued a cautiously positive assessment.
CITY NEWS
Giant Turnip Rolls Into Bell Mechanism and Announces Noon at 10:17
A prize turnip has caused the city’s most agricultural timekeeping error of the month.
CITY NEWS
Orwin Repairs Silent Bell; Gobbs Adds Volume Nobody Requested
A repaired workshop bell now works perfectly. For twelve seconds it worked much more perfectly than necessary.
CITY NEWS
Market Pigeon Steals Inspector’s Pencil and Completes Partial Inspection
A pigeon briefly took possession of an official pencil and used it with the confidence of a trained administrator.
CITY NEWS
Delivery Tube Rejects Ladder, Postal Service Surprised This Needed Clarification
A resident has attempted to send a folding ladder through a system designed for message capsules.
CITY NEWS
Postal Bird Files Complaint by Delivering Complaint Form to Itself
Postal Bird No. 7 has become involved in the paperwork system and nobody likes where this is going.
