CITY NEWS
Workshop Boiler Produces Perfect Musical Note; Gobbs Wants Orchestra
A workshop boiler has produced a clear sustained tone during venting, which one person has mistaken for a career opportunity.
CITY DESK
CITY NEWS
Latest reports, incidents and everyday peculiarities from across the City of Ventorn.
CITY NEWS
Parcel Marked “THIS SIDE UP” Arrives Upside Down and Appears Unconcerned
A parcel carrying four arrows and very clear instructions has arrived in precisely the prohibited orientation.
CITY NEWS
Pigeons Occupy Freshly Painted Bench Before Paint Is Dry
A newly painted bench has acquired three pigeons, six footprints and a finish not approved by Street Works.
CITY NEWS
City Misplaces a Ladder While Workers Are Standing on It
A maintenance ladder was reported missing for eleven minutes despite remaining in active use.
CITY NEWS
Bakery Loaf Whistles When Squeezed; Baker Denies Innovation
A loaf from Boiler Street has produced a clear whistle under pressure, creating demand the baker did not ask for.
CITY NEWS
Municipal Cart Parks Itself Perfectly and Refuses to Leave
A small city cart has discovered an excellent parking space and appears unwilling to surrender it.
CITY NEWS
Street Direction Sign Rotates in Wind and Sends Everyone to the Same Bakery
A loose signpost spent twenty minutes confidently directing four different destinations toward one bakery.
CITY NEWS
City Removes Sandwich from Emergency Valve Cabinet and Adds Surprisingly Specific Rule
A sandwich discovered in an emergency cabinet has generated a new sentence in the municipal handbook.
CITY NEWS
Clock Tower Crow Steals Official Whistle and Improves Morning Confusion
A crow has removed a municipal whistle from an unattended table and used it with enthusiasm but no training.
CITY NEWS
East Market Fountain Begins Bubbling; Children Declare It Soup
A bubbling fountain prompted engineering checks and several completely unnecessary culinary theories.
CITY NEWS
Postal Tube Delivers One Sock; Service Unable to Locate Other Sock
A delivery tube intended for messages has produced one striped sock and no explanation.
CITY NEWS
Runaway Cheese Wheel Overtakes Two Carts and Is Arrested at Fountain
A large cheese wheel escaped a market stall this morning and briefly became a transport problem.
