CITY NEWS
Boiler Inspector Sits in Child-Sized Chair and Finishes Inspection Anyway
A missing adult chair failed to stop one inspector, although dignity suffered minor pressure loss.
CITY DESK
CITY NEWS
Latest reports, incidents and everyday peculiarities from across the City of Ventorn.
CITY NEWS
Umbrella Cart Opens All Umbrellas at Once and Becomes Temporary Sailboat
A delivery of umbrellas encountered a gust of wind, a faulty latch and several laws of motion nobody had invited.
CITY NEWS
Workshop Alley Closed by Runaway Barrel That Changes Direction Twice
A large empty barrel briefly became the fastest thing in Workshop Alley and possibly the most determined.
CITY NEWS
Rope Bridge Reopens; Residents Asked Not to Bounce on It “for Science”
A repaired bridge is safe, open and not in need of additional public testing.
CITY NEWS
Questionable Mushroom Crate Confiscated After Seller Gives Origin as “Somewhere Damp”
A mushroom seller has learned that “somewhere damp” is technically a location but not a sufficient food-safety record.
CITY NEWS
Public Clock Loses Seven Minutes, Gains Nine, Declares Itself Two Minutes Early
A market clock has produced enough arithmetic to make everyone late in a different direction.
CITY NEWS
Valve Street Residents Discover Free Pavement Heating; City Objects
A warm patch of pavement has attracted chairs, tea and the attention of engineers who insist none of this is an approved service.
CITY NEWS
Street Musicians Asked Not to Accidentally Sound Like Evacuation
Bell Street performers may continue playing at noon, provided nobody mistakes the finale for a municipal emergency.
CITY NEWS
Postal Bird Returns Wearing Someone Else’s Hat
A Postal Service bird has returned from its route with a grey felt hat that nobody remembers sending.
CITY NEWS
Crooked Lamp Post Finally Straightened; Residents Complain Street Looks Wrong
After six months of complaints about a leaning lamp post, Bell Street residents have discovered they had become emotionally attached to it.
CITY NEWS
Children Find Forgotten “South Service Passage” Sign and Immediately Draw Secret Map
An old market sign has produced one historical question and approximately twelve imaginary tunnels.
CITY NEWS
Chimney Sweep Finds Brass Thing Nobody Can Identify; Public Wants to Turn Its Wheel
A mysterious brass object has entered lost property and immediately attracted exactly the kind of attention lost property does not need.
